The Arranged marriage system in India has strange ways of working.
I have always heard of "inquiry" calls, that ask you about the character of someone or someones daughter, either at work or in the neighbourhood, for Suitability for an Arranged marriage.
Today, i got to experience one of those calls first hand, My first instinct was to give that person a long lecture on how it is demeaning to the person about whom the inquiry was being done, But it was socially inappropriate so i mumbled something and cut the call.
But what i couldnt say there, I am going to say it here.
"If you do want to go for an arranged marriage, or are Bride/Groom hunting for your child.
Please don't ever make an "inquiry" call. Its demeaning to yourself and the person you are inquiring about.
Granted,that you need to find out the suitability with the said person, But how are you going to find out your suitability by making "inquiry" calls? how will they help you? what is their purpose?
Most of the present generation of the Indian middle class are all decently educated, have modern values, and even if they don't, they have studied and worked in mixed groups of Men and women, So they shouldn't be awkward about meeting and interacting with a person of the opposite sex. And they probably have friends of the opposite sex too. If you make a vague "inquiry" from someone, you will only know a Third person account, which may or may not be true. You will never know your compatibility and suitability in a marriage.
A better option would be to request a personal interview with the other person,And i don't mean one of those demeaning "Bride-seeing" ceremonies either, thats even worse. What you should go for is a one-on-one meeting, or Call or text. Where you can candidly discuss your plans and ambitions and ideals.
That way, you will not only get to know the other person better but also find out your compatibility with each other if you do decide to get married. It is actually not easy to do that with our conservative society, parents and mindsets. But this is no longer the medieval times, where parents decide and you get married docilely. We need to convince our parents to agree to a text or a phone call at the very least to know the other person better.
Times have changed, and We need to change accordingly."
p.s:- And if you think you wanna make one of those "inquiry" calls about me, DONT EVEN THINK OF IT!!
I have always heard of "inquiry" calls, that ask you about the character of someone or someones daughter, either at work or in the neighbourhood, for Suitability for an Arranged marriage.
Today, i got to experience one of those calls first hand, My first instinct was to give that person a long lecture on how it is demeaning to the person about whom the inquiry was being done, But it was socially inappropriate so i mumbled something and cut the call.
But what i couldnt say there, I am going to say it here.
"If you do want to go for an arranged marriage, or are Bride/Groom hunting for your child.
Please don't ever make an "inquiry" call. Its demeaning to yourself and the person you are inquiring about.
Granted,that you need to find out the suitability with the said person, But how are you going to find out your suitability by making "inquiry" calls? how will they help you? what is their purpose?
Most of the present generation of the Indian middle class are all decently educated, have modern values, and even if they don't, they have studied and worked in mixed groups of Men and women, So they shouldn't be awkward about meeting and interacting with a person of the opposite sex. And they probably have friends of the opposite sex too. If you make a vague "inquiry" from someone, you will only know a Third person account, which may or may not be true. You will never know your compatibility and suitability in a marriage.
A better option would be to request a personal interview with the other person,And i don't mean one of those demeaning "Bride-seeing" ceremonies either, thats even worse. What you should go for is a one-on-one meeting, or Call or text. Where you can candidly discuss your plans and ambitions and ideals.
That way, you will not only get to know the other person better but also find out your compatibility with each other if you do decide to get married. It is actually not easy to do that with our conservative society, parents and mindsets. But this is no longer the medieval times, where parents decide and you get married docilely. We need to convince our parents to agree to a text or a phone call at the very least to know the other person better.
Times have changed, and We need to change accordingly."
p.s:- And if you think you wanna make one of those "inquiry" calls about me, DONT EVEN THINK OF IT!!
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